The world loves Chip Zdarsky!
From his humble upbringing in Canada to super-stardom at Marvel, we've all watched his career blossom from indie hero to comics legend.
Of course into each life a little rain must fall. Sadly for Chip it came in the form of a 5'10 unicorn dressed like Deadpool.. or maybe Deadpool dresses like him.
Either way, back in 2014 Chip Zdarsky (and unfortunately the world) was introduced to our very own advice columnist Deadpoolicorn and life was never the same. Through constant harassment and a little bit of blackmail Deadpoolicorn got us to read the actual interview and it was pretty great. Except now he thinks he's a writer and is constantly sending us pitches for his comic story ideas, most of which were blatantly stolen from Chip Zdarsky (Intercourse Villians? The Black Hedges? Howard The Dog? Really?) Also we don't make comic books here...
Anyway, please enjoy this lost interview with Chip Zdarsky. To any of Marvel's legal team that may be reading this please remember that this was in a public domain Marvel chat room.
We also take zero responsibility for anything that Deadpoolicorn does...
DP: So here's an interview I did with Howard the Duck / Kaptara writer & Sex Criminals artist Chip Zdarsky. (Note: this was taken from a Marvel Q&A group chat where all the sad and vapid questions from everyone but me were removed)
DP: Hey Buddy!!
CZ: Oh Jesus.
DP: If you could do one dream project from existing characters in Marvel or DC what would it be?
CZ: Um, hmmmm. It's tricky. I'd like to do Spider-Man, but I don't think I could take the level of scrutiny. Same goes for Batman
DP: Have there ever been any gags in Howard that Marvel sent back and told you to tone it down a bit?
CZ: Nope! I'm usually pretty good at walking the line. I worked at a newspaper for 13 years, so gauging what works for the publisher and audience is something I think I've developed over the years.
DP: What do you feel is the best advice for any aspiring writers with their foot in the door of comics?
CZ: I've been making my own books and webcomics and junk cine 2000. That's pretty much it. You have a .02% chance of getting in at a company unless you've been successfully creating your own work several times over, or have achieved success in another field which can translate to comics.
DP: Awhile back I remember you dressing like Garfield a few times... do you think that helped your career in getting noticed or hurt in some way?
CZ: Well, I guess it added to my, uh, public charm. Mostly because it's such a stupid affectation and I clearly do it for shits & giggles.
DP: As Sex Criminals is clearly a very personal book to Fraction what would your personal book be in terms of incorporating yourself?
CZ: I'm not very good at putting my feelings out there, so, uh, that book ain't happening anytime soon. The closest I have is a pitch in my head for a story based around the newspaper I worked at for years, about the future of papers.
DP: Any interest in doing a Strikeforce: Moritari reboot? I feel like you and Kagen could kill it...
CZ: Never read the original run. Always loved the ads for it in my old Marvel books though. Stroman became one of my favorite artists. I have trouble imagining the scenario where Kagan and I would do a Marvel book.
DP: If Marvel gave you free reign with a MAX title what character would you choose?
CZ: Probably wouldn't do it. Don't have a huge interest in hard-R corporate superheroes. If anything, I'd like to go the opposite and do an all-ages superhero.
DP: What's the strangest thing a fan has asked you to do? Have you been propositioned a lot?
CZ: I've signed my share of butt plugs and butts and feet, which is TOTALLY MY THING so it's cool.
I have a rule I generally follow which is that I don't drink on the road. Because I get HELLA SLUTTY. So when someone propositions me I have the clear mind to run away and hide in my room.
DP: With me being a walking talking pitch for a parody of a character that Marvel has not created yet, have you ever heard anything around Marvel in regards to a gag order from talking to me or the words "that damn unicorn guy"? ...other than from Fraction I mean... ---:O)
DP: In regards to my earlier question about your dream gig... who would win in a fight between a Zdarsky written Spider-Man vs. Batman?
CZ: THE READER
DP: absolute favorite movie and why?
CZ: Dirty Dancing. I'm attracted to everyone in it and it's just perfect.
DP: Dream artist to work with and why?
CZ: There's so much talent out there I can't even begin to choose just one.
DP: OK Thanks dude! Love you in a completely OK guy to guy way!! ...not that guy to guy loving is bad in any way...just not my bag...i'll shut up.