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©The Variant 2015

Ask Deadpoolicorn

The Archives

Ask Deadpoolicorn

 

Aaron B. asked:

How did you get the idea for Deadpoolicorn? Can we expect other unique Cosplays? Why is 73 the best number?

 

Deadpoolicorn: Well Aaron, first of all that’s three questions. I GUESS I’ll answer each one but just so you know, you’re taking up the class’s time. Also bring gum for everyone next time. 

A. The idea for Deadpoolicorn? I mean where did you get the idea for Aaron? Baby I was born this way!!

B. You’ll just have to wait until NC Comicon and see now won’t ya?

3. I’m sorry but the best number is 8. If you turn 8 on its side it becomes infinity. It’s also my birthday. Thanks for coming out buddy! 

 

Jo asked:

Why are you so horny?

 

Deadpoolicorn: Well Jo this is actually a question I get a lot. The answer I tell everyone is because I have a gorgeously stunning well-endowed woman who I live with that constantly shines my horn. She’s pretty, she’s intelligent and she is my official horn polisher. Also a truck drove into the wall of our camp and the horn wouldn’t shut off luring the hoard of zombies we didn’t kill in the huge hole in the mountain away from where we were actually leading them, instead of you know, killing them in a hole... a giant cavernous hole that would have been perfect to just bomb and wipe them all out… all at once… 

 

 

Matthew P. asked:

What is another word for thesaurus?

 

Deadpoolicorn:

Matt, the other word for thesaurus is INTERNET… because everything on the internet is another word for the truth. The truth is out there… hmm hmmm hmm hmmm hmmmmm hmmmmmmm 

 

 

Heywood J. asked:

WHAT WOULD YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE PERFECT DONKEY SHOW ON A HOT FRIDAY NIGHT DOWN IN TIAJUANA, MEXICO?

 

Deadpoolicorn:

Heywood, I’m glad you asked. I would check Tito’s on 5th but also check out California Fats on Hertato St. Those two would probably be the best with the least chance of you getting shivved and/or being forcibly added to the show. 

 

Jasper T. asked:

What is the next trend in horror movies?

 

Deadpolicorn:

Hi Jasper! Well I think the next big trend in horror movies is leaning towards psychological thrillers that involve small pets that are possessed by the devil and kill their owners horribly. I mean personally I would watch a movie about guinea pigs that worshipped Satan and then murdered the families in the nice suburban neighborhood. My friend Jenna actually has a quite murderous turtle that she keeps in her bathtub so I think the premise isn’t too far-fetched.

 

Joey H. asked:

Butter side up or butter side down?

 

Deadpoolicorn:

Wow Joey! I'm not even sure what that means. Are you asking for my morning english muffin? Do you mean if I dropped my toast would I prefer if it landed butter side up or not? This is hands down the hardest question I believe I've ever been asked. I mean if the butter lands up and I accidentally step on it then I get butter on my foot and if the butter side is down and I accidentally step on it then I would probably slip and slide across the kitchen, crashing through the front bay window out to the veranda. While that brand of chaos does kind of appeal to me I would probably have to say I don't eat butter on my toast at all and prefer a good hummus.

 

Karen A. asked:

What is the meaning of life?

 

Deadpoolicorn:

Obviously it's buttering your toast with the butter side up so that way you don't drop it and slide across the kitchen crashing through the bay window out onto the veranda.

 

Robert A. asked:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsiepop?

 

Deadpoolicorn:

I'm deferring to Mr. Owl.

One. Tawhoo.. Tharee...

Fun fact, Mr. Owl was arrested on trumped up charges for shitting on the Police Station sign in Tecumsah, Washington. In prison he shivved a guy and his sentence was extended to life. He died alone in prison as one of the leaders of the Aryan Nation at Tecumsah State Penetentiary.

 

 

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